The Eldest and Gender Roles

Apparently being the eldest daughter does impact a person and leads them to having some natural borne- tendencies. Now I am a firm believer of developmental theories on a person's cognitive skills, but I had not thought the simplicity in a person's order of birth could have such a huge impact. Until one day, this whole thing about eldest daughters popped up on my feed. Maybe as a misunderstood kid some part of me seeked validation there for I quickly went around to researching on the topic and apparently the "Eldest Daughter Syndrome" really is a thing. Although it's not a medical diagnosis so the word 'Syndrome' might be a little (or very) misleading, but it is used to highlight the severe effects on a person's wellbeing and emotions that it has.

So, if we go by developmental theories all elder siblings face more responsibilities and fall prey to greater pressure than the younger, for reasons that may vary from family to family, but the pattern stays the same. Which is interesting considering how different parents have different approaches to nurturing a child. I dug deeper to find that apparently the reason elder siblings are more competitive and tend to feel more responsible is behind the fact that growing up, their ideal figure is their parents, which is pretty alright up until you consider the age difference and difference in maturity thus between the parent and the child. A child naturally tries to jump that barrier between themselves and their ideal, so the eldest sibling tries to master everything they do or be really good at it so they can be where their parents stand in the experience. While the same may not work on the younger child because for them, their role model is set to their sibling, who is the same age or at least the same generation as them. The younger child thus has to work to get to (or rather reach to) a much lower level of skill and experience to feel fulfilled and feel that they've reached the same level as their role model.  

Now here's an opinion, formed solely from experience and very frankly, no research.

An elder sibling is the first experience for the parents, so the parents themselves naturally feel pressured to make things work out and nurture the child properly, in which they may be strict, unavailable or simply distant from their own child. In a first-time experience, it is only natural for the parents to feel the pressure of caring for and looking after a young little life who is completely dependent on them, which may or may not directly lead to difference in the development of the elder sibling when compared to the younger. 

Here's a critique I've felt while I cross-checked my own words~ How exactly then is this 'Eldest Daughter Syndrome' different from an eldest son's experience? Is there any role at all played by gender roles? Is there any major or abstract difference in the developmental and cognitive patterns of eldest sons and eldest daughters?

As previously mentioned, I have a much smaller circle than you'd expect, so naturally I tried researching on what difference there might be, this time around there was a low response so I even got AI to reason with me, and here's my major conclusion - Yes, Gender roles apparently do play a huge role in differences in eldest daughters and sons, and while they may both feel responsible and feel the pressure, the pressure itself varies between the both. 

Eldest daughters are more often obliged to fill in the family roles associated typically with females, such as caretaking, helping out in the household, providing moral and emotional support, while for eldest sons that changes to roles majorly associated with men - being a role model to their younger siblings, being independent, staying assertive, having a successful career and financially helping the household. But here's where from personal experience, I felt things were a little off

While assertiveness and strength are not very typically expected from the females, in a household like mine women are taken to be no less, or rather much better than men at handling household tasks alongside a polished career. This leads me further into the difference between Eldest Daughters and Eldest Children~

"Eldest Daughter Syndrome is more specific, referring to firstborn girls who, in addition to the pressures of being the eldest, also face gender-specific expectations."

"Expectations from daughters often include increased caregiving roles, emotional labor, and household responsibilities shaped by cultural norms around femininity."

Which was what answered my initial curiosity on why exactly was there so much emphasis on Eldest Daughter Syndrome specifically while everybody acknowledged the differences between elder and younger children. While I did not initially start this post with the intention to bring about gender roles and structuring of male and female dynamics, apparently, they do have a huge role to play in our societal dynamics and somewhere or the other, an emphasis is required on how on multiple matters completely unconcerned, gender roles do step in. 

In a modern society where we do strive to make our women stronger and lead them ahead, a time where we all become cheerleaders to a change in the traditional gender roles and patriarchal dynamics, is it really as simple as just being male and female?

Guess that's a point for another post, this one's already become long enough

P.S. For every elder sibling reading this, I See You <3

Love Love,

Rashima <3